Daytime Pajamas

Pajamas (or pyjamas as Wikimedia informed me they are also spelled, though I would never spell them that way) are a comfortable and perfectly acceptable clothing item to wear.

When sleeping.

Of late, there has been a trend of more and more people wearing PJs out and about in public.

I have to admit, I was fine ignoring this trend when it was confined to Wal-Mart shoppers. The easy solution there was to avoid Wal-Mart, which I went ahead and did.

Then I ignored the trend when it was just a teenager thing, mostly confined to girls, because I dismissed it as a stupid teenage fashion trend that is allowed because teenagers have no responsibility.

But nowadays? I see GROWN MEN AND WOMEN wearing pajama pants to the mall.

Nope, nope, nope, and now I'm even retracting my previous ignoring. Pajamas are not acceptable daytime attire and make you look like a stoner, a slob, a complete loser, or all of the above.

Seriously? You could not take the six minutes to change out of the stank-pants that you slept in for the past week without coming out into the world to expose the rest of us to it? I'm going to judge and stereotype you here (because that is what your choice of pants leads me to do) and say that likely your home is not a bastion of cleanliness. That said, it likely means that you already have PANTS lying around your house. You don't even have to go and GET them out of a drawer in order to put them on, you just pick them up off of last night's pizza box and put one leg in and a second leg in and then zip. That simple.

And while I can't say there are quite a few things that I would say the government of Caddo Parish, Louisiana gets right, I have to agree with the law they proposed in 2012 that bans pajama pants in public. That's government working to protect its citizens right there.

The only thing worse than wearing pajama pants in public? Wearing them to work. Pants, people. You're better than that.

Excessive Flip Flop Wearers

By Othertree (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)
or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)],
via Wikimedia Commons

OK, I can recognize that flip flops have their place.  That place, by the way, is called the beach. That said, you still won't find me wearing any, most likely, because I'm not a big fan of the way they feel wedged up between my toes, nor do I enjoy the annoying thwack thwack sound they make when I walk. But I am an understanding individual and I get that other people enjoy wearing flip flops at the beach.

Now, before we get all up-in-arms, I am going to say that there are instances where women wear flip flops that I am not qualified to criticize because I know very little about actual fashion. (But don't worry, I will still criticize women's fashion that annoys me in later posts).  But my nuisance with flip flops is really when guys wear them excessively.

What constitutes excessive, you may ask?  Here are scenarios in which you should not wear flip flops:

• At Work - I kid you not, there are guys that wear flip flops to work in a professional environment.  This is at the same office where I have seen people in slacks and sport coats.  So you go from almost-suit-and-tie to almost-homeless in the same dress code.  And let's be honest, nobody wants to hear you thwack thwack your way down the hall in the middle of their conference call or see your hairy feet while they are trying to swallow their lunch at their desk in the forty-eight free seconds they have in their day.  Wear shoes.  Hopefully with socks.
• With Jeans - OK, my assertion that flip flops are only appropriate at the beach may be a bit of a hardcore pendulum swing in the other direction, but if there's one thing we can agree on, it should be that flip flops are a summertime footwear.  And nothing says summer like hot ankle-length denim.
• To the bar - Because it makes you look like a douche.  "But these are my nice flip flops, I payed $45 for them at Urban Outfitters and they're made of organic hemp."  Read what you just said. Douche.
• Doing yardwork or construction - Honestly, you probably deserve to have a toe chopped off by an errant chainsaw blade or something, and I'm not the king of protective gear, but for Pete's sake, when doing yardwork or construction, particularly with power tools, flip flops are inappropriate footwear.
• Exercising - Flip flops are not cross-trainers, basketball shoes, or cleats.
• To a nice dinner - I have to give credit, this is usually accompanied by other inappropriate attire that would appropriately compliment flip flops (read: jean shorts at a five star white tablecloth restaurant), so it is likely that this offender just lives in a certain realm of beach-casual all the time.  Still, don't ruin my dining experience.
• Anywhere except the beach - (or around the pool).

What's more annoying than people wearing flip flops?  People who call them thongs. Thongs are underwear, people.  You're better than that.